Recently, Deakin University ranked fast food chains across Australia, based on their healthy eating policies.

Each chain was given a score out of 100, with Subway coming in top with 48, and Macca’s second with 42. Domino’s scored 3/100.

Pizza Hut went marginally better, with a score of 27, but Domino’s refuted the veracity of the study, adding that “Domino’s is a treat, and customers choose what’s healthy for their lifestyle.”

This is very correct. People don’t eat greasy fast food pizza under the illusion that this is a healthy choice. Therefore, when the glut hits, Domino’s is the clear choice between the two chains. If you’re gonna do it, go proper.

This was backed up in a Roy Morgan study published on Monday that ranked the popularly of the Australian fast food chains. Domino’s was fifth (and highest pizza chain) while Pizza Hut was ninth.

You may remember towards the end of last year, what we dubbed The Pizza Wars of 2017 erupted between Pizza Hut and Domino’s, with each chain flinging free-pizza deals at the public, and veiled barbs at each other. A dessert pizza with chocolate and marshmallows was even launched, such was the depth of the madness.

Pizza Hut is, however, sitting on a winner, should they choose to unleash it: the legendary Bigfoot pizza.

Here’s a photo of you, holding the bag this beast came in.

And here’s the paper variation (missing from photo: you)

As you may have read above, this bad boy was two square feet (not an actual square, but the equivalent size) of pizza, cut into 21 square(ish) slices.

You could get three different toppings on it, for US$10.95

Until Pizza Hut gets their act together and brings back the all-you-can-eat menu (don’t bother with the salad bar), this is their best option at becoming the biggest, and least nutritious pizza joint in the land.

Here’s Haley Joel Osment spruiking it in 1993.

He sees dead opportunities.

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The article was originally published on Brag Magazine