On the weekend I looked up the lyrics to ‘Alcoholiday’ by Teenage Fanclub (excellent, underrated song) as I was laughing about the fact they used the word ‘interim’ in it. It turns out I had completely misheard the lyrics, but it ended up leading to a discussion which led to this column, so was I really wrong? (I was).

First, a blanket rule. No Morrissey. No Leonard Cohen, no Bob Dylan – nobody who is considered a poet, or for whom tricky wordplay and literary devices are primarily what they are known for. this will be an ever-expanding list, so please feel free to make some suggestions.

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Animosity –  Metallica: And Justice For All

Apathy their stepping stone

So unfeeling

Hidden deep animosity

Apropos – Sheryl Crow: All I Wanna Do

“All I wanna do is have a little fun before I die, “

Says the man next to me out of nowhere

It’s apropos of nothing

Brook – Led Zeppelin: Stairway To Heaven

In a tree by the brook

There’s a songbird who sings

Canopy – Incubus: ‘Wish You Were Here’

The sky resembles a backlit canopy

Combustication (sic) – Incubus: ‘Pardon Me’

Cause lately I’ve been thinking of combustication

Constipation- End Of Fashion: O Yeah

Constipation verbally

Then I walk away

Cumulonimbus – Crowded House: ‘When You Come’

Like a cumulonimbus coming in from a distance

Echolalia – Something For Kate: ‘Three Dimensions’

And if I listen to the seconds

Reminds me of echolalia

Equilibrium – Beck: Sexx Laws

Can’t you hear those cavalry drums hijacking your equilibrium

Interventionist – Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds: Into My Arms

I don’t believe in an interventionist God

But I know, darling, that you do

Mausoleum – Beck: Sexx Laws

Midnight hags in the mausoleum

Where the pixilated doctors moan

Moot – Rick Springfield: Jessie’s Girl

You know, I feel so dirty when they start talking cute

I wanna tell her that I love her

But the point is probably moot

Pataphysical – The Beatles: Maxwell’s Silver Hammer.

Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical science in the home

Parable – Tool: Parabola

Twirling round with this familiar parable

Spinning, weaving round each new experience

Parasympathetic – Andrew Jackson Jihad: People II

Your parasympathetic nervous system reacts

And you’re in fight or flight mode

Placenta – Live: Lightning Crashes

The placenta falls to the floor

Somnambulist – Incubus: Vitamin

A zombified, somnambulist society.

Leaving us as vitamins

Verisimilitude – Teenage Fanclub: Verisimilitude

I only hope the verse is good

I hate verisimilitude

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Got any additions? Send them to us on the back of a lewd postcard, or simply add them to the comments.

Now, where we were?

The article was originally published on The Industry Observer