Spit Syndicate Fess Up To Claims They Stole Pizza From Bob Dylan’s Fridge
Written by Emmy Mack on 22nd April, 2016
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And now, after presumably being haunted by their sins to the point where they could no longer look at themselves in the mirror without their faces morphing into a soggy slice of meatlovers, Nick Lupi & Jimmy Nice have finally come clean.
Taking to Facebook to issue a public statement, the Aussie hip-hop duo have confessed to the crime of pilfering not one but two slices of Mr. Dylan’s leftover Italian snack from a refrigerator inside the Dylan household.
However, they’ve also offered a reasonable explanation for their actions in the hopes of gaining forgiveness.
Taking full responsibility for the pizza theft, Lupi says it all started when the boys were in LA back in 2014, kicking on after a night on the town in celebration of their final night in the City Of Angels.
They ended up at a friend-of-a-friend’s place who went by the name of Pablo, and in a shock twist, it transpired that Pablo was actually the grandson of the great Bob Dylan and his house was in actual fact the Dylan family’s Hollywood Hills mansion.
But that didn’t stop the group from staying up all night getting blazed and writing a rap song in the mansion’s adjoining granny flat.
“It finally hit me that we had somehow ended up off our heads recording a rap song in the gated family compound owned by one of the 20th century’s most prolific singer-songwriters,” Lupi recalled. “What would Mum think, I wondered, not for the first time that trip.”
But that’s when all the trouble started. Lupi got hit by the munchies, and found his way inside:
“My instincts kicked in and I headed to the kitchen, straight to the fridge. Sure enough, it was one of those stainless-steel double door numbers. I opened the fridge, and staring back at me were the last two pieces of a pizza. Not for the first time in my life, my hunger overpowered my respect for other people’s property. Without a second thought, I grabbed both pieces and stuffed them into my mouth, furiously chewing as I tip-toed out of the kitchen, petrified of running into Pablo, Jakob or Bob.”
It takes a big person to own up to their mistakes, and we would like to applaud Spit Syndicate for their honesty.
Mr. Dylan has yet to comment on the situation.
You can read Lupi’s full statement below.